As America goes to the polls, we ponder which member of the Knicks would be best fit to serve in the Oval Office
Happy Tuesday, y’all.
Today’s Election Day and, if you haven’t already, please take the time to vote. Even if you don’t like the presidential race that is dominating the news cycle, go to the polls for the down-ballot races and make your voice heard. Dozens of elections around the country are decided by a handful of votes from county clerk to fire commissioner. It’s your community and you should have a say in who represents it.
With that out of the way, I thought I’d make light of what is sure to be a tense and divisive day by pondering the question: Which Knick would be best in the Oval Office? Now, none of them are eligible to be president (Taj Gibson is unfortunately in Charlotte) but if in some odd world we could have one of our ‘Bockers as Commander in Chief, who should it be?
Jalen Brunson
El Capítan. On paper, there’s no man more equipped for the job. Voted the second-best leader in the NBA, Brunson is cool in the face of danger, knows how to rally the troops, and takes accountability. We don’t know where he would stand on the issues, but we know that he would be able to unify us all and represent the country well. Unlike some of his teammates, he wouldn’t embarrass us at events with leaders around the globe. He is also controversy-free, which is extremely rare for any political candidate. He would also be going full FDR with the Fireside Chats, although the Roommates Podcast is usually reserved for more entertaining antics.
Can he get Putin on one of those?
Mikal Bridges
A little fun fact, the tallest president in American history was Abraham Lincoln at 6’4”. Bridges, along with several of his teammates, would shatter that mark. Bridges would be somebody who would have a uniquely easier path to winning an election, given his familiarity in Pennsylvania and Arizona. Bridges is also not one for an off-court controversy while being more exuberant than Brunson both on and off the court.
OG Anunoby
Unfortunately, OG is not eligible to be president even when he turns 35, as he was born in the United Kingdom. Regardless, having a guy of OG’s kilter as president would be fascinating. Many people say they just want a president that does their job quietly. If OG stepped into the Oval Office next January, he wouldn’t leave it for four whole years. You’d forget the guy even exists. His State of the Union would be about 200 words and would be in the quietest and most monotone voice ever. It’s literally like having a robot as president.
Josh Hart
We should never let Josh Hart near the Oval Office. If you force me to say some positives about Josh Hart running the nation, I would say that he would fight for the working man and work 20-hour days for our country. I mean, he’s already used to working on the brink of exhaustion. He would also use the bully pulpit in the Roommates Podcast.
Some drawbacks are obvious. According to Brunson, he isn’t the best at spending money. That might mean a spiking in the national debt. Not to mention he would possibly be the most unhinged president in history. He would get left hanging trying to shake the British Prime Minister’s hand, be caught with some insane soundbites, and have a hilarious press conference regarding his old breast milk tweet. Not the best choice.
Karl-Anthony Towns
The newest Knick knows how to be a politician. He does have two different voices, after all.
Bodega KAT has shown he can be a seamless fit in an abrupt change, a good quality for a president. He would also be physically imposing. Imagine trying to strongarm a seven-footer in foreign relations.
Mitchell Robinson
A big issue that people have with politicians is that they don’t get us. They were born rich and if they weren’t, they’ve been coddled and entrenched in the corrupt ways of politics for decades. The Nova Knicks were these hotshots that went to a fancy private school. Mitchell Robinson is the common man.
A country boy from Louisiana who relied on his God-given abilities to become an NBA center. He didn’t need an NBA dad or a scholarship to a premier university. He got into the NBA without playing a single game overseas or in college and developed into a master of his craft. The American dream.
Mitch would also get by far the highest youth vote in the country’s history. What other president effectively lives on Snapchat? The question is how reliable would he really be: after all, he struggles to stay on the court.
Tom Thibodeau
We end off with the only one here that can actually be president as of today. Tom Thibodeau, like Josh Hart, would work endless nights for this country and seemingly never sleep. His press conferences would be unintelligible. I’m not sure if he would be as cordial with reporters as he is in current press conferences or as bombastic as he is with the referees. He is also scandal-free, which tends to happen when you’re married to the game of basketball.
Thibs would undoubtedly increase the retirement age and institute a 60-hour working week. America doesn’t need load management, after all.
Having a Knick in politics isn’t something new. NBA Hall of Famer Bill Bradley was elected to the first of three Senate terms just a year and a half after announcing his retirement in 1977. In the 2021 New York City mayoral election, Julius Randle got six write-in votes and Tom Thibodeau got three. I expect some Knicks to get write-in votes in 2025.
Curious who y’all think would be the best president. My vote in the hypothetical Knicks Election would be for the cap. Vote below!